It was a little ironic that the only free weekend between us that could be devoted to this important ritual happened to fall on Al's birthday. For about a week leading up to his birthday, my daughter Alison kept telling me about the various signs she'd been getting from her dad. The many 11:11s, the way that old saved voice mail from Al just happened to pop up in her messages at the right moment, Rickie Lee Jones' song The Horses playing quite randomly and just an overall feeling that he was with her. Maybe it was our very recent trip to Puerto Penasco that brought him closer to her.
Last year during our tamale making weekend, Al was with us in spirit and I blogged about it. One of the signs that made me sure he was there was the appearance of that giant praying mantis last year. We rarely see those insects around; I'll never forget it since the praying mantis has a spiritual meaning and has been important to me since Al died.
Well this year after a full day shucking and cleaning corn and then cutting the kernels off 192 ears we had a BBQ that evening ~ Oct 11 ~ Al's birthday. As we were sitting around the firepit late that night we had a visitor. That's right, a praying mantis.I silently honored Al's birthday this year, not posting or talking about it. Just feeling the love in my heart and uttering a few words out loud to him. I'm in a good place. And then he makes his presence known. And my heart swells and I begin to question myself and how far I've come.
"Here you come again
Just when I've begun to get myself together."
~ Dolly Parton
