Simple Things Make for Great Things - Day 10

I planted a very small container garden this past spring/summer and was pretty hopeful despite a lifelong brown thumb. Granted, the two different varieties of tomatoes died within weeks but that made me even more diligent in taking care of my green charges. Well, at least for a few months. But then my busy work and social schedule pushed its way to the forefront causing me to pay less attention to my little garden than I should have. It probably doesn't help that the plants are on my front porch and I rarely use the front door.

It seems my plants have been a little forgiving and are thriving quite well. I've been told mint is virtually impossible to kill so its survival shouldn't be surprising. But my dwarf peach tree is still green and still has plenty of leaves on it. My dwarf pomegranate tree is getting quite tall and has about a half dozen fruit on it.

It brings a smile to my face when I look at those hardy, thriving plants....when I remember to look.

Simple Things Make for Great Things - Day 9

My daughter Lesley was accepted in to the nursing program at Northern Arizona University (Tucson satellite location), a huge accomplishment especially since only about 20 applicants make it in each semester. I'm incredibly proud of her and it is hardly a simple thing.  But because of her acceptance, my simple thing occurred.

She asked me to babysit Isla and Clark while she and Trevor went out to a celebratory dinner. We played, had dinner together, I gave them baths and then we settled in to watch a movie before bed. Clark (21 months) was more interested in reading books on the floor so Isla (one month short of turning 4) and I sat on the couch together and watched Cinderella.

My heart was full as she held my hand through the entire movie.

Simple Things Make for Great Things - Day 8

After spending the day outdoors in the beautiful fall weather, I spent my evening with my two daughters and some friends as we had a little fun celebrating Alison's birthday.

Alison's beloved dog, Bodi was put down very recently after an aggressive bout of cancer and she is still very much devastated. I wanted to do something special for her birthday that also honored her love of Bodi and I finally figured out what I would do. We were going to spend part of her birthday celebration at a local paint & drink studio so I signed up for an open studio session prior to her party. I came in with a few photos of Bodi and the owners of the studio helped me figure out how I might best represent him on canvas with my limited ability to paint.

When we arrived for the paint party, Bodi's framed portrait sat among the other painted canvases that lined the wall near our table. Alison and her guests were looking at some of the works of art when she spotted it. I had been harboring many doubts and fears about giving her this gift. What if she just gave that smile and said something like, "Cute."? But she actually loved it and there were tears and hugs between us both. It was the perfect gift for my daughter.

Simple, heartfelt gifts can be better than spending great amounts of money and can touch someone in a way no store bought gift can.

Simple Things Makes for Great Things - Day 7

I'm trying hard not to make this November series a "thankful" one but more of an appreciate the little things series. Same thing, you say? Kind of  but kind of not.

I appreciate an adventurous spirit in people and take a certain pride in the fact that I'm up for most adventures and will try most anything. I wouldn't call myself a daredevil by any means just someone who likes to have fun and try new things. I think what holds me back on truly living "out there" is a lack of funds. What is it they say...you and me both?

I can add another check mark on my bucket list because today I got to put on a protection sleeve (not a full body suit) and get attacked by an enforcement canine. It wasn't a full on attack and the dog only had about a two foot space in which to "attack" me so I didn't have to worry about getting knocked down. But I sure felt the force of that dog! And luckily his handlers called him off within a few seconds.

But you know, we only live once so why not make it an EXPERIENCE!?

Simple Things Make for Great Things - Day 6

Don't you just love that feeling when a song comes on the radio and suddenly you're transported back to high school? You're in a car with a group of friends driving home from the beach with the windows down, the smell of suntan oil in the air and you're all singing your hearts out.

I've been listening to the music of my youth lately: Aerosmith, Foreigner, Bob Seger, Tom Petty, Boz Skaggs, David Bowie... It sure makes my commute home go by really quickly. I just roll the windows up, turn up the volume and sing the songs as if I'm on stage. Sometimes it's hard to keep from moving my head and arms around but I keep myself in check knowing that the person in front of me is probably watching in their rear view mirror.

Music isn't really a little thing for me, it's been a constant companion throughout my life and has seen me through the best and worst of times. Turn it up!

Simple Things Make for Great Things - Day 5

Sometimes it's the littlest thing that can make your day. I often pass a newspaper vendor on the corner of a large intersection near my home. It's a popular place for these guys and this man is somewhat new to this particular median. He waves at busy commuters as they pull up to the red light anxiously awaiting their turn to make a left and get on their way. But it's not a blank wave with no emotion, simply put out there to try to sell more papers. His has a genuine feel.

I used to ignore the waves just like a lot of busy people in the morning. But lately I've been looking him square in the eye as I approach and return his wave with a smile and a wave back to him. And he smiles. And it makes my morning.

Simple Things Make for Great Things - Day 4

Never, ever did I think I'd ever say this but I'm really looking forward to the change in weather and lower temps. I love living here and am crazy about our summer months and the ridiculous heat it brings. Crazy...I said it. A couple of things come to mind as to why this might now appeal to me. First and foremost: menopause. I'm always warm, often hot. It's kinda nice to feel relief without the aid of air conditioning plus it will be a huge benefit to my bank account. No more running the A/C constantly.

And who isn't looking forward to boots and scarves?I'm thankful for the little bit of relief I feel when the cool evening air hits. But let's be clear here, I am still not a cold weather fan. I might let you call me a cooler weather fan. Maybe.

Simple Things Make for Great Things - Day 3

Last night we had a brief, unexpected light rain shower. I opened my door to go outside with the dogs before going to bed and took it all in. The cool air, the light feel of soft drops on my face and the smell. Ahhh, the smell.

Every region has their own unique smell when it rains and I've only experienced the scent of the western United States and Mexico. But when I was growing up in southern California, the only smell I associated with rain was worms, slightly fishy smelling worms. It's so different here in the desert; the air is fragrant with the scent of creosote. It's the smell of summer, rejuvenation and home.

I really am thankful for simple things like the smell of my desert home.

Simple Things Make for Great Things - Day 2

Mothers. Daughters. Sisters. Coworkers. Friends.

I spent my day with a large group of women that encompassed all of the above. We all had a project to complete which was the real purpose of our get together however the part I cherished most is what I'm thankful for. Relationships....female relationships....I guess you can call it sisterhood.

There is something to be said for these relationships and how complicated yet simple they are. We can talk about the most intimate things and bear our hearts on our sleeves without fear of ridicule or repercussion. We can also laugh and poke fun without fear of hurting one's feelings. It can be a delicate balance at times.

I love the bond I have with my female friends, coworkers and family members and am thankful for the relationships we have and continue to build upon.

Simple Things Make for Great Things - Day 1

Sometimes I find it difficult to push aside my every day worries and woes. I think it happens to us all. You know you've been there....there's often too many bills and too little paycheck, we worry that it's been too long since we've been "home" to see our aging parents, we wonder if our jobs are truly secure, the list goes on and on. So I'm taking this month to push past the uncertainty and doubt that lives in my brain to remind myself that life truly is good. And there is much to be thankful for.

Day 1

I love you. Just three little words. Words that can ease pain, bring about smiles and three little words I don't take for granted. I'm thankful that those words flow quite easily from my mouth. I feel it and I say it because life is too short not to. I tell my grown children as often as I can and I'm thankful that I hear those important words coming from them as well.

If you've been holding back from telling someone that you love them, just know that they could be gone tomorrow and your words might be lost forever.

Green Corn Tamales, That Distinctive Voice and a Little Visitor

Just when I think this blog has served it's purpose and it's time to put it to rest, I feel the need to bring it to the surface again. It appears I still feel the need to write and share a few things. I know I've gotten really lazy about sharing my feelings but perhaps it's not laziness, it's actually that I struggle to figure out exactly WHAT I feel. So while I continue to figure out who I am and what direction to take my life, today's events are worth mentioning.

In less than a week, we'll be celebrating my husband's birthday and a trip to visit family in California is in order. Now that I've kind of rediscovered my blog, I'm sure I'll write about that soon. But this post is about a family tradition and how Al made his presence known.

My daughter Alison and I spent the day today with two friends prepping the corn to make green corn tamales. It's a lot of work that starts with carefully shucking the corn and saving the husks, flicking the nasty worms from the field corn and shedding the silk, washing the corn and finally cutting all the kernels from the cobs. 16 dozen ears! While it truly is a huge amount of work, it's a tradition in my family. One that Al loved and actually expected me to do every year. He and I used to do it together before my daughters took an interest in learning how to do it.

So midway through shucking the corn in my daughter's backyard I looked up and stared in to the house. Alison asked what was wrong and I told her that it was probably the radio or something but I could have sworn I heard Al call my name. He used to call me from another room when he wanted something. It was a distinctive "Kathy!" that was instantly recognizable. I kind of laughed it off but Alison and our friends said it could be Al letting us know he was there since we were making tamales. I thought....maybe but it's really been a long time since he's made his presence known so I silently chalked it up to my imagination.

But then a short time later we looked up at the frame over the sliding glass door and there it was. A Praying Mantis. Just watching over us. Now you may not know this but praying mantises have a spiritual meaning. If you've read this blog from the beginning, I wrote about them early on when I was visited by two different mantises on two consecutive nights and just what their visit meant.



http://whoanellio.blogspot.com/2010/10/lovelybug-symbolism-for-someone-who.html

And finally, when we finished for the day Alison and I went shopping for the rest of our ingredients so we can all gather again tomorrow. We looked at each other and instantly heard it..."Well it's a marvelous night for a Moondance, with the stars up above in your eyes...." One of Al's songs, one of the really meaningful songs in our lives since he left us, and the final sign that he was hanging out with us today.

Nice to hear from you again, honey. It's been too long.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lFxGBB4UGU

The DDD Club

Some holidays are just weird for me now. Father's Day is one of them. I lost my own father a few years ago and he was a pretty amazing guy. And of course, I lost my own husband, the father to my children which makes today just a little more sad for me. But I've got a few comrades who join me in this odd place today and to you I say I'm here for you my sisters and brothers!

So rather than sit here and feel sad and displaced, I'm meeting a few of them for lunch and cocktails as we celebrate Dead Dad's Day. Morbid you say? I don't think so. It makes me laugh because it's just the kind of humor both my dad and husband would have appreciated.

Raise your glass, whether it be iced tea, beer, a shot or water.....here's to them.

Rickie Lee Jones and the Devil

If you’ve read my blog before you know how instrumental Rickie Lee Jones’ music is to my life. One of my favorite memories of Al is coming home from work and finding Al on our big front porch kicking back on one of the Adirondacks wearing shorts/no shirt, a “cooler” in his hand, sometimes a little uuhhhh… a little j in an ashtray, the windows to the living room wide open and Rickie blaring on the stereo.  Weasel and the White Boys Cool, We Belong Together, Coolsville, Last Chance Texaco and The Horses. Oh, The Horses.

Her music played throughout our lives and my kids grew up listening to her. When Al went to hospice, her music played continuously in his room and he passed away as The Horses played in the background. That song became incredibly important to me and the words were printed in Al's memorial program and played during his service.

I periodically check on Rickie's tour schedule and was excited to see she'd be in Phoenix. I asked my kids if they were interested in going up with me. Sadly Marshall was unable but Alison and Lesley were able and excited to go.

I got off work early on the day of the concert and as I was driving home I was thinking about Al and how happy he would have been to go see her and how he must be really pleased that we were doing this. At that moment the song When I Get Where I'm Going by Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton came on the radio. The words to that song were also printed in Al's program and the song played during his service. I felt like it was a message. Just then Alison called me to say she'd been thinking about her dad and the concert and heard that song come on the radio.

We had planned to arrive a little early and prepared a envelope with a note to Rickie along with Al's memorial program, asking if she'd sign the program. Unfortunately we misread the concert information and mistook the concert start time for the door opening time. So we were late. Crap. But only by a little more than five minutes. We were in the 2nd row and Rickie sat no more than 20 feet in front of us. Her show was incredible and despite warnings to ourselves that she probably didn't sound the same, she sounded exactly like she does on her CDs. It was hard not to cry at times during the concert; at one time Lesley and I turned to look at each other and we both had tears streaming down our faces.

The last song she played was not one of her own and I've never heard her sing it. In fact it was one of Al's all time favorite songs. Sympathy for the Devil by The Rolling Stones. Seriously. How wonderful and amazing; I know he was there in the room. What an incredible ending and so meaningful for us.

After the show we gave the envelope to the house manager of the concert venue who said he'd give it to Rickie's manager so we waited a bit but there was not response. Turns out she and her manager had already left. But it's okay because the important thing is that we got to see her and listen to her live and Al was with us.

At one point as we were approaching home my girls and I managed to look at the clock in my car and of course, it was 11:11pm. And what's even more interesting is that I have a friend who is very connected psychically and spiritually and at that same time she looked at her clock and thought of us. I have no doubt she was sensing Al's presence and his pleasure at how the night had gone.

Branching Out

There really wasn't any choice in the matter. It was either get out and meet new people or sit at home, eat crappy junk food, drink a bottle of wine every night and become a depressed hermit. I like option A.

Because 30 plus years ago I gave everything I had to my family as a wife and mother I didn't really cultivate friendships. It never seemed important to me for some reason until I became a widow. And now that I'm a couple of years in to this weird place in my life I'm finding that I crave female friendship. Don't get me wrong, I'm not such an introvert that I have no girlfriends at all, it's just that I don't have any SUPER close ones. I love meeting my friends for dinner or happy hour or what have you. But I also find that women my age are often at a point in their lives where they are able to spend more quality time with their spouses now that their children are on their own and they rightfully take advantage of it.

So it becomes a bit of a struggle for me. I wholeheartedly love and relate to my friends in their 30s and 40s and have a ball hanging out with them but I can't help but wonder what's wrong with me that I prefer to spend time with friends who are younger than me? Nothing? Something? Maybe I need a little psychoanalyzing, huh?

Crazy or not, I actually AM branching out. Over the past couple of months I've been doing more things outside of my comfort zone and meeting new people. Recently I attended a Yelp event on 4th Ave where I knew no one. Not a single soul. But I had a ball and will be doing another such event next week (perks to being Yelp Elite) at a local specialty wine shop. And just last night I went to my neighbor's house (who I really don't know well at all) for a product party. And again, I knew no one. And again, I had a ball!

So somewhat like a tree coming out of a long winter ~ I'm branching out.

Points of Light

Driving to work this morning I kept catching little flashes of light out of the corner of my eye. NOT red and blue flashes...I was driving the speed limit! Any way, it happened frequently and was very unusual. Not like the usual obvious reflections we all catch, these were different. It was almost as if they were dancing and playful if that makes any sense. The first ones were in my neighborhood and then along a bend in the road where I caught three in a row in fairly quick succession. It was as if light was reflected off a mirror or shiny object for just a moment. A couple more along the way and the last one was as I approached work.

I started to think maybe I was having a vision or nerve problem for a second but I feel absolutely fine and I believe nothing could be wrong with me. I thought for a moment that maybe it was a sign of love from beyond but thought nah, it's been a while since I've had anything like that. I chalked it up to the gorgeous Arizona sun, car windows, tile on buildings, etc.

And a couple of hours later I knew that it was a little message of love when I caught the 11:11 that I really never see anymore.

He's not here often anymore but he was here today. I feel it in my heart.

To You Hon, Always and Forever

My December Journey

30 Days of Giving – Dec 1:  Bought 4 chicken tender strips at Fry’s and gave them to a homeless man sitting outside on a bench with all his belongings in a grocery cart.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 2: Stopped at Sprouts and picked up a small bunch of sunflowers along with my produce and then hit Starbucks for some green tea. They're always so incredibly nice & friendly at the Starbucks drive-thru. Guess who got the sunflowers?

30 Days of Giving - Dec 3: Recently attended a cardmaking "workshop" so I took all my non-glittery Christmas type cards (as per specs from WRMC) from that and wrote a heartfelt message of hope, thanks and recovery then sent them off to Walter Reed Medical Center to brighten a service member's day.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 4: Giving doesn’t have to cost a thing. It can be a kind word or hug when someone’s down or as simple as today’s “gift.” An employee in a neighboring office had to get to an event and her car battery died. She’s now enjoying her luncheon event and I got a little breather from my day.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 5: Picked up the cutest little live poinsettia plant in what must be a 2 inch pot and left it at a public bus stop on the bench with a note that said, "If you found this, enjoy! Happy holidays."

30 Days of Giving - Dec 6: One of the easiest ways to give - volunteer. Our Children's Miracle Network Radiothon on 94.9 MIXFM is taking place today & tomorrow and I've been here since 5:15AM.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 7: Unexpected emotions as I just made an online donation to Honor Flight Tucson in memory of my dad Jack B Guinn, a WWII vet.
http://honorflightsaz.org/

30 Days of Giving - Dec 8: I don't really care if it goes to beer, cigarettes, rot-gut whiskey, a hooker or whatever, he had nothing and I had cash.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 9: Gave the gift of time to a harried mother with a cranky, tired kid today in Wal-Mart when I told her I'd pull her basket through the line behind me so she could take her daughter to the restroom. She was even happier when I told her to get in line ahead of me. I actually think it may have been a gift for all of us in line.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 10: It's not much today but I made a huge pot of ham, potato & broccoli soup yesterday and brought a Tupperware container to each of my kids today to share with their families.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 11: Getting ready to head out to meet my work team at an elementary school on Tucson's south side where we'll be fitting and giving bike helmets away to all the students. A few hours of "work" there and then off to a holiday lunch and white elephant gift exchange. Double giving today! LOL

30 Days of Giving - Dec 12: I really appreciate the people I work with day in and day out. If I'm gonna spend so much time here, at least it's with good people. They each got a little homemade deliciousness from me today. Thanks team!

30 Days of Giving - Dec 13: My networking group, The Beta Group (Tucson) is having our annual holiday luncheon today and each of us is bringing unwrapped gifts for the children at Primavera. Hoping to put a smile on a few kids' faces.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 14: I feel so helpless, so hopeless on this tragic day and am desperate to help and ease the pain even in a small way. I just made a donation and encourage anyone searching for a way to help to do the same.
http://www.newtownyouthandfamilyservices.org/index.php

30 Days of Giving - Dec 15: Gave the gift of a few hours of uninterrupted Christmas shopping to my daughter and son-in-law this evening as I took care of the kids. After yesterday's ugliness I think this may have been a gift to myself as well.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 16: Gave a little gift of enlightenment yesterday. I let someone off the hook and I feel somewhat liberated and empowered. Just more evidence that giving does something for both the receiver and the giver.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 17: Left a little bag of home baked Christmas treats and a note on top of my garbage can when I wheeled it to the street late last night. It's still there this morning....hoping it stays until the trash man comes to get my trash this morning.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 18: Went to a thrift store during my lunch (Speedway Outlet is A-mazing) and purchased several blankets and towels (items on their wish list) and then took them over to Hope Animal Shelter, a local non-profit no-kill cat/dog shelter.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 19: Hope that nice, young Salvation Army bell ringer has a sweet tooth. Gave her a Whitman Sampler on my way out of the grocery store tonight.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 20: Picked up 4 generic Christmas cards, signed them "A random greeting from a random person" along with a nice little wish for them, wrote "For you" on the envelope and left one under the windshield wiper of 4 different cars.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 21: Bought 6 Christmas-y board books at the dollar store, put each in a festive, shiny bag and walked in to our children’s ER where there just happened to be 5 little ones waiting to be seen. Handed one to each child or parent and told them I hope they feel better soon.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 22: Busy, busy day. Babysitting for a good chunk of the day and then shopping only to get home at 10pm so it's a bit of a fail today. It's quite a stretch and all I've got but I at least gave a family the chance to know what happened to their beloved pet when I called Animal Control to have them pick up a pretty little cat laying dead in the middle of Ina Rd. At least there will be a record of this cat/location in the book of dead animals that were picked up in their front office. Sadly I've had to check that book a few times. Like I said...this entry is a stretch.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 23: Crazy countdown rush and I forgot to post yesterday's giving. Had a little Mylar snowman balloon on a stick in my car yesterday and saw a little one so obviously tired of shopping. Approached mom trying to get her child in the car and asked if she could have the balloon. No more fussing and she willingly got in the car.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 24: Got so caught up in my own thing that I've let this slide a bit! Let's see - Dec 24 I bought 4 pairs of men's white athletic/work socks and while shopping I only managed to give one pair away to a guy standing at an intersection asking for money. I really MEANT to give them all out but the rest got buried on my front seat during my shopping frenzy.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 25: Sounds like a cop-out to use Christmas gift giving as one of my "gifts" but it really isn't. I work so hard to make Christmas morning fun and memorable. Everyone comes over in the morning at a pre-arranged time and there's good breakfast stuff and coffee. Then on to the living room where everyone goes for their stockings that are filled to the brim with little treats, toys and strange things (and a tangerine/cutie and nuts in the shell!!). That takes a good 10 minutes and then the crazy chaos begins. So while I could just say I gave gifts on Dec 25 what I really gave were irreplaceable memories and traditions.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 26: Brought tamales and beans in to work to share with my coworkers so I guess I gave them lunch. The week between Christmas and New Year’s is typically really slow so I thought the few of us there this week might enjoy them.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 27: It was freezing cold and raining this afternoon when I stopped at Sprouts for a few things on my way home. I ran across the parking lot to return my cart to the store and while hurrying back to the warmth of my vehicle, an older woman (older than me!) was opening her trunk to put her groceries in and was getting pretty wet in the process. I said, "Here, let me help." and quickly grabbed a few bags and put them in her trunk. It was kind of an odd moment but it warmed us both just a little.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 28: Bought five $1 AZ Lottery scratchers last night and just handed them all out to random employees on my way to the cafeteria for lunch. That was fun!

30 Days of Giving - Dec 29: Had a coupon for a free Fry's rotisserie chicken in my purse when I ran to the store this evening to get some cheese for my Texas chili (ALL the Navarros are chili-making fools now that we've got our hands on some American Meat Market hot chorizo!!). Anyway, a guy who looked like he'd been working hard all day was checking the chickens out so I gave him my coupon and told him it was on me.

30 Days of Giving - Dec 30: Took several dollars worth of pennies from my coin crock and dropped them as I walked the path of the Christina-Taylor Green Memorial River Park. Hoping this brings some excitement to a little one taking a family walk along the CDO wash tomorrow morning. **Thanks for joining me on this one Lesley Young

30 Days of Giving – Wrap Up: Day 30 of my 30 day experiment has come and gone so there is no outward, obvious gift to others on this last day of 2012. I started this personal challenge to give in some way for 30 consecutive days in an effort to possibly influence others and elicit a change within myself. I wasn’t looking for praise or “likes” but more to hopefully make you (and me!) think for a minute about how easy it is to be giving and thoughtful. In this world that has proven to sometimes be so hateful and violent, maybe we can all work towards a kinder, gentler 2013.