Yep, I'll own this one. It doesn't happen very often but tonight I feel sorry for myself. I'm not a fan of self pity and I'm embarrassed to admit that I've gone there tonight.
I'm getting ready to head out the door in the early morning hours to California to attend my nephew's wedding. I needed to wash clothes, wash dishes, take a shower, etc before I go. I did some cooking first and made kind of a mess. Threw some clothes in the washer and went in the computer room to download a couple of pictures. (Pics of my cooking experiment - fried green tomatoes, blech!) When I walked down the hall I thought my kitchen floor looked a little odd. WTF. My kitchen was flooded. Both sinks were full of crap and my washing machine backed up, draining all over the floor. Lovely. I used every towel in my house to sop up the water but now what? I have to leave this mess and come home to it on Monday night.
So yes, a stupid household mishap and I'm pissed as hell that I have to deal with it. By myself. With no money to pay a plumber. This sucks. And I'm mad. I'm mad that I have to deal with shit like this. I'm mad that I'm struggling financially. I'm mad that Al isn't here. I'm mad that I'm alone. I'm mad that life dealt me this blow. I'm mad that I'll never talk to him again. I'm mad that things are "easy" for other people and I've lived a life of struggle. I'm mad that I'm feeling sorry for myself. I'm just mad.
But through the anger I have to laugh. You see this is the way things go for us**. If something can go wrong, it will. Especially with the plumbing in my house. I can pretty much predict when I'm gonna have plumbing issues based on history...Thanksgiving Day when cleaning up after dinner.....ANY frickin' holiday when plumbers charge double....the morning we are leaving for California when my dad died....and of course when I'm leaving for a few days to see family.
**Wow, I still say us. That's pretty messed up and that makes me mad too.
What kind of sign am I being sent?
It's a sign - he's still there and wants you to know it will be a bumpy ride and to remind us how much we do miss them!! Life sucks at times! We can sit down and cry and not get back up or we can get angry, then laugh about it later (which is the road you take)..and the financial struggle...Go to California and enjoy this time with family <3
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