Canine Comfort

Each milestone date is easier than the one before. Today could have been a difficult one as I marked the 34th anniversary of the day I married Al. But I’ve turned a corner and my support system is with me every step of the way. I’m incredibly thankful that I was surrounded by all three of my children (although none of them qualify as “children”) and their families. I had a minute of self-pity last night when I went to bed. It was about 1am and I settled in and thought for a minute about how much I miss Al and how we loved to celebrate our anniversary. There’d be the inevitable joke between us about how each year that passed early in our marriage he’d say something in anger during an argument that we’ll never make it 2 years, soon it was we’ll never make it 4, 5, 12, 23, etc. It turned out to be a 32 year joke between us. A tear or two fell as I thought to myself that he should be there next to me. It wasn’t a sob, it wasn’t a cry just merely a tear or two.

Just at that moment Sylus (my big black Lab) got up from his spot and started licking my face. He did this long enough to make me laugh and push him away. Sy typically spends about 5 minutes on the bed on the edge furthest away from me when I first lay down and then moves to the floor. But instead he crossed over and around Raider and plopped down on top of the covers between my legs and put his head on my stomach to keep an eye on me and to make sure I felt his presence. I’m a sap, a bit of a romantic I guess and a believer in otherworldly things since Al has made his presence known so intently since he passed. Sylus could have sensed something in me but I wasn’t outwardly obvious in what I was feeling, it was pretty much all internal. And Sy is not one to exhibit this type of behavior. My connection to Al has remained strong and I feel he found a way to comfort me through the actions of my Sy in the early morning hours of our anniversary. It gives me an amazing sense of comfort and I wonder how long I can hold on to Al and just how long before it’s considered unhealthy.