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Sunday, June 16, 2013

The DDD Club

Some holidays are just weird for me now. Father's Day is one of them. I lost my own father a few years ago and he was a pretty amazing guy. And of course, I lost my own husband, the father to my children which makes today just a little more sad for me. But I've got a few comrades who join me in this odd place today and to you I say I'm here for you my sisters and brothers!

So rather than sit here and feel sad and displaced, I'm meeting a few of them for lunch and cocktails as we celebrate Dead Dad's Day. Morbid you say? I don't think so. It makes me laugh because it's just the kind of humor both my dad and husband would have appreciated.

Raise your glass, whether it be iced tea, beer, a shot or water.....here's to them.


Sunday, June 2, 2013

Rickie Lee Jones and the Devil

If you’ve read my blog before you know how instrumental Rickie Lee Jones’ music is to my life. One of my favorite memories of Al is coming home from work and finding Al on our big front porch kicking back on one of the Adirondacks wearing shorts/no shirt, a “cooler” in his hand, sometimes a little uuhhhh… a little j in an ashtray, the windows to the living room wide open and Rickie blaring on the stereo.  Weasel and the White Boys Cool, We Belong Together, Coolsville, Last Chance Texaco and The Horses. Oh, The Horses.

Her music played throughout our lives and my kids grew up listening to her. When Al went to hospice, her music played continuously in his room and he passed away as The Horses played in the background. That song became incredibly important to me and the words were printed in Al's memorial program and played during his service.

I periodically check on Rickie's tour schedule and was excited to see she'd be in Phoenix. I asked my kids if they were interested in going up with me. Sadly Marshall was unable but Alison and Lesley were able and excited to go.

I got off work early on the day of the concert and as I was driving home I was thinking about Al and how happy he would have been to go see her and how he must be really pleased that we were doing this. At that moment the song When I Get Where I'm Going by Brad Paisley & Dolly Parton came on the radio. The words to that song were also printed in Al's program and the song played during his service. I felt like it was a message. Just then Alison called me to say she'd been thinking about her dad and the concert and heard that song come on the radio.

We had planned to arrive a little early and prepared a envelope with a note to Rickie along with Al's memorial program, asking if she'd sign the program. Unfortunately we misread the concert information and mistook the concert start time for the door opening time. So we were late. Crap. But only by a little more than five minutes. We were in the 2nd row and Rickie sat no more than 20 feet in front of us. Her show was incredible and despite warnings to ourselves that she probably didn't sound the same, she sounded exactly like she does on her CDs. It was hard not to cry at times during the concert; at one time Lesley and I turned to look at each other and we both had tears streaming down our faces.


The last song she played was not one of her own and I've never heard her sing it. In fact it was one of Al's all time favorite songs. Sympathy for the Devil by The Rolling Stones. Seriously. How wonderful and amazing; I know he was there in the room. What an incredible ending and so meaningful for us.

After the show we gave the envelope to the house manager of the concert venue who said he'd give it to Rickie's manager so we waited a bit but there was not response. Turns out she and her manager had already left. But it's okay because the important thing is that we got to see her and listen to her live and Al was with us.

At one point as we were approaching home my girls and I managed to look at the clock in my car and of course, it was 11:11pm. And what's even more interesting is that I have a friend who is very connected psychically and spiritually and at that same time she looked at her clock and thought of us. I have no doubt she was sensing Al's presence and his pleasure at how the night had gone.